hmm missing you

God i'm so sorry i turned away from you what the heck i was thinking. tonight at uraban life wow i could just feel you and when Charles prayed for me he didn't know anything about how was feeling but every word that came out of his mouth described exacly how i was feeling and knew that could only be from you. God i'm sorry, help me to be a better person, help me grow in you, i'm running back to you, the place were i feel free, the place were i feel happy.

my ears are still ringing from lastnight

maybe all those years it wasn't God, maybe it was just hype. how can i be sure you're real when it seems like you're not listening

As I Lay Dying

wow what a crazy night it started off with Lovers Grave wich i'm pretty sure i saw at pushover they could have been better if there was a moshpitt but no just a bunch of people standing around drinking but little did know what was about to happen. The second band that played was The Abandonment freaking awesome breakdowns 5 stars for the breakdowns. Now As I Lay Dying man straight away you could tell everyone was just saving thier energy because it went from people standing still to people crowd suffering. they played all my favorite songs including 94Hours, kinda hesitated on hardcore dancing but eventually got into it, did some crowd surfing for the first time and lost my shoe hehe. the moshpitt small space with 2 brick poles in the middle hmm wich made circle pitts death pitts because you had to dodge them, yep i would say that was the craziest moshpitt EVER! and thats all i have to say.

God i wonna run back to you, i wonna run in the place i felt free, but it's hard when i can't seem to feel you God show me you're real, show me you're there looking out for me.

You Take My Breath Away

You take my breath away,
Oh lord you take my breath away,
In a way words cannot describe,
And this love that I have in my heart, is the love that you put in my heart,
I don’t know how I could ever live without you.




You take my breath away,
Oh lord you take my breath away,
Jesus you know you take my breath away.




You paid the price for me,
Oh lord you paid the price for me,
I wasn’t worthy and yet you still do more for me,
Dying on the cross wasn’t that enough?
Oh lord you know it was more than enough for me.




You take my breath away,
Oh lord you take my breath away,
Jesus you know you take my breath away.





I can’t do this without you, were would I be without you?
Oh lord take control,
Let my thoughts be your thoughts, Let my words be your words,
Everything I do is all for your glory,
Oh lord it’s all for you!


.................................................................................................................................................................... I wrote this just before i fell away from God. What was it i felt then that i don't feel now?

so went to a small local church today and for some reason i felt like i should be there don't know why but it did, even though i was pretty anti social but thats just how i am around new people. i don't know maybe thats where God wants me to be because i have been thinking about leaving Planetshaker for a while, before i fell short from God. maybe thats why i've been feeling dry.

i'm not letting go, i'm not giving up, there just has to be something just gotta pull myself together

i'm scared, i'm lonely, i'm isolated, getting licked out home, fuck i'm ready to die

fuck this fuck life i've had it, mum you don't want me in the house fine. i'm scared of loosing my closest friend this all fucked up right now

i'm scared

facebook is working now yay

facebook is unavailable due to maintenance

hmm...no credit

i never thought i'd feel this low. mum doesn't understand me, my sister is so fucking selfish to me, i feel lonely even though i have friends all around me, i pray to God eveynight to get me out of this fucking reck but nothing happens, where the fuck is God when i need him. suicide man seems to be the only thing left for me. but i'm not done yet i'm holding on to this little bit of hope i have left man hope it gets my out this mess. just need some who could at least try to understand.

Mum i just wanted you to understand why the fuck won't you understand

You're My Only Friend

i feel lonely theres things i want to tell you but ahh! i'm holding back how will take you take it? ah fuck it here it goes.



I wake everyday knowing it’s just another pointless day I get up I go to work, go for a skate, Sundays go to church, Wednesday fortnight go to urban life. I lost faith in God, don’t know if I believe there is a God. I feel lonely my mum can’t understand me, my sister is just so selfish and growing with out a farther I find it hard to trust anyone I don’t even trust my urban life leaders I know I should but I find it hard to. Yeah I have friends but there just friends I hang out with don’t really talk to them about how I feel. Suicide has been on my mind lately, like it would so much easier to leave this world nothing to worry about, why don’t I leave this world? I’ll tell you why because of you, you’re the only person I trust, you’re my only friend I can sit and talk to, you’re my only friend I really care about, you’re my only I ever got close to, you’re my only friend I love. It’s why I feel this way about you, it’s why I’m okay with just being friends because, I don’t know if I want to be more than just friends but then I kinda do, I just don’t want to lose you because basically you’re all I have.

I know i'll always love you, i wish that you felt the same, no matter what happens you will be friend, i'm not going to mess this up, i don't wanna end with regret.

evertime i put some skates on my feet i feel free it's just being myself and i feel happy. all my worries, all my proplems and all my pain it just leaves the second i put on those skates it's gone. rollerblading is my escape from life.

Are you running back to what you use to be?
Or are you moving forward?

Leo has a sexy ass not that i'm gay or anything but he does lol

AHHH! don't know what to believe any more it's pissing me off!

if only we could spend our whole lives day dreaming

Architecs - Hollow Crown

There, there must be
An easier way
To release these feelings

So, so far from home
I need your voice
To hold my head together

So, so far from home
I need your voice
To lift my lonely state of mind

You, you can but wait
for me to return
For me to show you how I felt

These wounds have bled
And pages fly by
I need to feel you right by my side

So, so far from home
I need your voice
To hold my head together

So, So far from home
I need your voice
To lift my lonely state of mind

Oh there must be
An easier way
Oh there must be
An easier way
Oh there must be
An easier way
To release these feelings

As the sea breeze hits my lungs
It takes me back to where I belong
To where I belong

As the sea breeze hits my lungs
It takes me back to where I belong
To where I belong

As the sea breeze hits my lungs
It takes me back to where I belong
To where I belong

I'm fine with just being friends

I'm fine with just being friends i really am fine i know sometime i can seem like i want to be more than just friends well yeah i kinnda do, but i'm fine really. anyways a guy always needs that one female friend.

You said you would never leave, where are you now?

What Is Living Extreme?

Living extreme isn’t just about skating, surfing, sky diving, or any kind of extreme sport. Living extreme is being yourself and not caring about what the world thinks, it being different, it’s standing out from the crowd, it’s doing what you want, and it’s having fun. You don’t have to be who people tell you to be, you can just be yourself and there’s nothing better than being yourself.

To My Good Friend

To you my good friend i don't have to say your name because by the end of this you'll know who i'm talking about.

The day i met you i saw a passionate, young, loving wormen of God, all though at first we never really talked much i still thought you were pretty cool don't know why i guess i just saw something different in you and i like people who are different because they stand out in the crowd, their not afraid to stand alone. I can never forget when we really got to know each other we were on that bus trip that seemed like forever to boomcamp we played 24 questions but i'm pretty sure it was more than 24 questions haha, you were so close to God at the time it was almost like you would never leave him, i was sure that you wouldn't leave him. We went to the city to watch fireworks on new years eve, we had fun, you stayed at my place for the night and we hang out the next day. You started doing intern you enjoyed it so much i could just see it, you helped me get through DNA i don't know if you knew that but you did in fact if you didn't send me that text asking me if i had done DNA i don't think i would have, you prayed for me at DNA encounter weekend thanks i needed it. It got near the end of 2009 i didn' know what it was at the time but i could see something wasn't right you stoped going to church, i hadn't seen you in a while, i was worried about you. And just recently you told me everything i was amazed of what you went through, couldn't believe how much i didn't know you, i didn't know how far away you were from God, alot has changed, it seems like i'm just getting to know again but this time im really getting to know you, i still love you, i still care about you, i still worrie about you, i still think of you every day, i still wish i could be with you, but in some ways i think we are better off as just good friends and i like it now that were closer i love you so much.

Crying Out

I'm sick going to church and not feeling anything, I,m sick of feeling like God isn't listening when i pray, I'm sick of not knowing what i believe in. God i need you because i don't know how to live without you, my life seems pointless without you, some days i feel i'm better off dead, man i'm going crazy without you please show me that you're real because i don't know anymore, i'm begging you, lord this my cry to you, can you hear me?

Follow Your Dreams, Follow Your Heart

Follow your dreams,
Follow your heart,
Believe what you feel is right,
Don’t let anyone tell who need to be.



It’ your life,
It’s your choice,
Don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong,
It’s your life,
It’s your choice,
Don’t let anyone take that away from you.



Have faith in what you do,
Fuck what anyone thinks about you,
Believe what you feel is right,
Don’t let anyone tell you who you need to be.



It’ your life,
It’s your choice,
Don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong,
It’s your life,
It’s your choice,
Don’t let anyone take that away from you.



Your dreams,
Your choices,
It’s what makes you, who you are,
Don’t let anyone tell you’re wrong,
Your dreams,
Your choices,
It’s what makes you, who you are,
Don’t let anyone take that away from you.



Follow your dreams,
Follow your heart,
Believe what you feel is right,
Don’t let anyone tell who need to be.

Let The New Child Run Away

Don't Know What To Believe

what is real? honestly i can't tell you that, if you asked my that about 3 months ago i would have said God, but i don't know if their really is a God and if there is

why can't i hear him?

why can't i feel him?

why can't i see him?

i want to believe there is a God but i don't, i want to believe there isn't but how the fuck do you explain mericals i mean people raising from the dead, people that should be dead but amazingly still alive, how does it happen is it pure luck, is God really out there, or is it something else

Every One Around Me Has A Girlfriend/Boyfriend

Why is it that all my friends find a girlfriend/boyfriend and i can't, i've tried looking, i've tried not looking, will i ever find someone i love, many times i thought i did,
i'm scared of being alone, i want a girlfriend, i want a wife and kids when i get older, man this just sounds like i'm desperate, maybe i am

Zao - Angel Without Wings

Hold her in your right hand
And guide her safely home
Brush away all the thorn
And all the stones

You're my angel without wings
You're my angel without wings
You're my angel, my angel, my angel

Hold her in your right hand
And guide her safely home
Brush away all the thorns
And all the stones
When I was crying you never left my side
When I was dying you never left my side
You're always, always there for me
You're always, always there for me
You're always, always there for me
You're always, always there for me

You're my angel without wings
You're my angel without wings
You were always there for me
You were always without wings
You're my angel without wings
You're my angel without wings
You're my angel, my angel, my angel

When I was crying you never left my side
When I was dying you never left my side
You're always, always there for me
You're always, always there for me
You're always, always there for me
You're always, always there for me
You're always, always there for me
You're always, always there for me
You're always, always there for me
You're always, always there for me
You're always, always there for me

You're my angel without wings
You're my angel without wings
You were always there for me
You were always without wings
You're my angel without wings
You're my angel without wings

What I Could Have Missed Out On

I love my life, I love where I’m at, I have friends and family that love me and care about me.
I rollerblade and I love every part about it, all the friends I’ve met, all the fun times, all the road trips I just love this sport.
My friends I love so much Hannah, James, Rachel, Ben, and Kayne, you guys have just been so awesome and don’t know what I would do with out any of you.
Wow my family even though sometimes I don’t show it I love Jackie and Mum I know hard it would have been raising to kids up on your own but I think you did an awesome job cause I turned out just fine, and Brendan I know we haven’t had much time to hang out but your still able to understand who I am.

Now I bet you’re asking where are you going with this? Glad you asked.
All this it scares me now to think 2 years ago when I held that knife to my throat I could have lost it all, watching movies with Hannah last night, when I had my arm around her it made me realize what I could have lost. We only get one shot at life and even though it can be hard at times and you may not seem happy right now, ending you’re life it’s not worth it because we’ll never know what we’ll miss out on. Hope is always there.

Photos Of Me Rollerblading

Can't Sleep

well it's 5am, can't sleep, don't know why, only got 1 hour of sleep so far and i'm not even tired, this really sucks

Let's Sit Down And Talk

Are we ok?
Can we sit down and talk?
I know this will fucking hurt,
But I can’t stand hiding these things from you.



I’m sick of this wall between us,
I just want to be closer to you,
I just need you in my life,
So I’m smashing down this fucking wall.



I’m not gonna lie to you,
It’s going to hurt you,
It’s going to let you down,
But just know no one’s fucking perfect!




I’m sick of this wall between us,
I just want to be closer to you,
I just need you in my life,
So I’m smashing down this fucking wall.




It’s better for the truth to come out,
Its better we sit down and talk,
Its better I break your heart,
So we can move on from this fucking pain.



I’m sick of this wall between us,
I just want to be closer to you,
I just need you in my life,
So I’m smashing down this fucking wall.




You know I’ll always love you,
You know I’ll never leave you,
You know I’m always thinking of you,
You’re always in my dreams.

Goulburn Fruit Jam

Ashamed To Tell Anyone

Want to, I have to tell you these things but to be honest I’m ashamed of it.
I have a learning disability fuck that word disability it’s so depressing.
I went to special school all through out high school, so ashamed to tell anyone, I’m scared of what people would think, scared of people looking at me as some retarded person, even though I know I’m not, I struggled with my education since primary school cause I always got bullied witch distracted me from concentrating in class witch distracted me from learning. Why am I ashamed of it, why am I scared to tell anyone? I don’t know so what I struggle with reading and writing a bit that’s all it really is. Do you still think of me the same way?

Am I Giving Up?

I’m letting go, I’m giving up, but something in my heart is still seeking you,
I’m letting go, I’m giving up, but every part of me doesn’t want to leave.


Is God just another myth?
Is Christianity just another religion?
Is it true what it says in the bible?
Was Jesus just another man roaming this earth?



I’m letting go, I’m giving up, but something in my heart is still seeking you,
I’m letting go, I’m giving up, but every part of me doesn’t want to leave.



Am I just wasting my time?
Am I really getting anywhere?
Am I better off without God?
Or is there more to this that I just can’t see



I’m letting go, I’m giving up, but something in my heart is still seeking you,
I’m letting go, I’m giving up, but every part of me doesn’t want to leave.



Is there a heaven?
Is there a hell?
Is there a life after death?
Oh lord I just don’t know anymore.

160GB of my life

For Today - Saul Of Tarsus (The Messenger)

Love Is A Choice

My youth leader use to tell me “love is a choice” I never really understood that until now, it’s a choice because when you love someone you choose to do things for them, you choose to by them gifts, you choose to stay with them through hard times, you choose to spend the rest of your life with them. I don’t know if that made any sense to you but it makes a lot of sense to me, in my opinion it’s the meaning love.

Does God Exist?

For five years I lived my life for God and in those five were the best moments of my life. I loved God obeyed his word, prayed every night, had so much faith that I thought I would never give up on him. Now I’m at the point where I’m ready to completely shout him out, I’ve been feeling nothing when I worship, feels like God’s not listening anymore, I’m getting sick of not feeling anything when I go to church and urban life. Now I’m left with these questions going through my head,
Who is God?
Does he exist?
Is everything written in the bible true?
Is there a heaven?
Is there a hell?
Was it all just a waste of time?
What the fuck do I believe?
Could it be we have it wrong?
Because every other religion is so sure they have it right and all I’m left with is confusion

The Amity Affliction - Straight Up

Straight up

Just take a look around, look what you're leaving behind
Get rid of the glare fused with lightning strikes, it burns me alive
Fold your arms, like sedatives and bleed it out
Not with your suicide, but with a dream
We'll all sing
We'll all hail the end

High hopes will burn that rope and bend the blade, just remember..
That broken chairs aren't vessels for escape
They're just reminders of what we waste

And all this talk of dying...take a look around
We all feel, like dying, sometimes
But the, courage to go on, to keep living
Is the more admirable choice

High hopes will burn that rope and bend the blade, just remember
That broken chairs aren't vessels for escape
They're just reminders of what we waste
All all is talk of dying, is..just getting old...

Straight up

We are here
To give you, the chance
To turn your, broken hearts
Into smiles again

this is what you should see at ever hardcore gig

Remz Haffey 2.0

remz haffey 2.0. the most amazing thing ever! i want this

As I Lay Dying March 30

Don't know why i created this, don't know what to right, yep this is my first post yay!